28 October 2005

Hummer musings

http://fuh2.com/

This is the best site to vent your Hummer frustrations on.

F U H2!

F U H2 2!

Did you know there is a Hummer cologne line out now?

At Sephora.com

[As quoted from Mark Morford]: It's cute, in a smash-your-head-with-a-rock, I-hate-breathing sort of way. Cute the way the marketing copy for the Hummer fragrance suggests rugged adventurousness, a manly outdoorsy off-road hunkiness in which not a single solitary Hummer owner actually partakes, in which "the smooth richness of tonka bean acts as the 'axle' that links and balances the fresh and warm notes, creating an olfactory sensation that can only be Hummer™."

I am not making this up. It really says that: "an olfactory sensation that can only be Hummer™." Which is a bit like saying, "A flavor sensation that can only be Rubbermaid™."

It does not stop there. Not satisfied with insulting your senses on 10 different levels, the geniuses in GM's marketing department went ahead and dredged up Hummer H2, a "spicier" scent that "carries the same family lineage of the original Hummer Fragrance for Men, but takes on a racier red side." Isn't that adorable? What "red" means in the context of the Hummer brand is anyone's guess. The blood of all the crushed passengers in those other small cars? The embarrassed flush of your cheeks as you block traffic for 20 minutes trying to parallel park? The color you see every time you drop 85 bucks to fill your tank? One can only wonder.

2 comments:

Martijn said...

Hahahahah cool! Give 'em the finger.....

mrs the experience said...

A tactile sensation that can only be flesh-eating bacteria.

I hate Hummers. And I live in a neighborhood filled with them. The drivers always speed through school zones and never let others in while in traffic.

Oh, if only I had the ability to explode things with my mind. I'd start with the Baptist Cohens up the street.