05 June 2007

Earth-shattering news!

Ow! My crabs!

Former inmate says Paris Hilton must do without beauty aids in jail
Tue Jun 5, 4:57 PM

LYNWOOD, Calif. (AP) - One thing's for certain about Paris Hilton's time in jail, she'll look different coming out than she did going in.

The mug shot taken when she surrendered to authorities will be the last time her hair and face will look glamorous, suggests a former inmate at another LA county women's jail. She tells the New York Daily News that all the accessories Hilton is used to are banned.

No curling irons, rollers, hair brushes, hair sprays, hair dye, tweezers, razors, hair removal wax and no mirrors.

She says Hilton will be "pretty hairy" by the end of three weeks and chances are her dark roots and unplucked eyebrows will be noticeable.

And the world mourns in anguish with the knowledge that Paris will be without her beauty products for a few weeks.

Jeez, world! Why? Why? Why is this news? This is a specific example of why I think the entire human race is totally screwed. *deep breath*

Holy frick - it's amazing the distractions that we will fixate on to forget our own shitty lives. I had hoped this disgusting bitch would fade into obscurity a long time ago, but her shameless self-promotion keeps her at the top of the media's frenzied quest for whore-ratings. Horrible whore! Doesn't anyone remember how she came to infamy? A night-vision sex tape? What class!

And that's my first and last reference to Paris Hilton on this blog. Maybe she'll be killed in prison. If not, one can only wish for a drug overdose, so her and Anna-Nicole Smith might finally move out of the public consciousness for good.

3 comments:

Matty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matty said...

Is this three posts in one day? I'd say you need to get another hobby but Joe might take a hit out on me.
Is she fingering herself on the beach?!

RD said...

It was raining last night, what do you want from me? Productivity? I'm leaning more towards Blogging and Facebook...I can't think of anything more anti-productive than that!!!