Media Response

To: Sarah Kennedy
Subject: Re: For the Record

Thank you for the response, Sarah. I appreciate that you took the time to explain your perspective on things.

Admittedly, I have probably unfairly lashed out at the media (and unfairly demonized all of you collectively), but having certain media groups plunder our 'private' public world in the blogosphere for leads and content without permission only added to the shock and anger Brian's group of friends have been going through. If someone had asked for additional pictures for the media to use, I would have gladly supplied dozens. I have been swamped with phone calls and emails since last Wednesday from friends, family, media and investigators running the gamut from support to outrage to insensitivity and this has taken a great emotional toll on me. In all fairness, lashing out at the media in anger didn't give the media outlets a chance to defend themselves, so I really respect that you took the time to write me back.

In retrospect, if I wanted to keep my blog contacts and personal information isolated from the situation surrounding Brian's death I should have started up a separate blog or website specific to this. However, in my haste to get the information out to as many people as possible (which I understand completely you are trying to do as well), I inadvertently exposed myself and my friends to attention none of us really wanted or expected. I fall under the trap of lashing out under emotional duress as much as anyone in a similar situation.

By biggest fear now is that if speculation into the details of the criminal case continue to grow and/or that the police do not release information in a timely manner, this sense of vulnerability and exasperation will not be helped if certain media outlets become more persistent in gathering more information on the story.

That's why I continue to insist that it should be the police that are regarded as the primary source of accurate information and not people personally associated with the victim. Brian had a very wide range of interests and many disparate groups of friends and each of those groups is going to tell you different things. I can only hope (and assume) that the police are doing the best job trying to fit all the pieces of the puzzle together. There is no doubt the media aid in this process, but alternatively the fact that the police are being careful about what pieces of information they release leads me to believe that they are trying to amass evidence and a clear picture in order to present an air-tight criminal case and public presentation.

I've been speculating a thousand different scenarios for a week now as to what happened and it has only led to additional emotional burden. I'd much rather resolve to waiting for the facts to determine some direction to focus my efforts towards once things become more clear and evident. If I can be of any help with information at that point, I definitely will get involved. Right now there's simply no focus as to what information is required from Brian's friends, if any. As far as I know, all of the relationships Brian had that might be related to the case have already been investigated by police.

I know full well that every industry has its individuals and groups with integrity as well as those without, and again I apologize for putting you all together in the same basket.

Regards,
Reid Dalgleish

Date: 15 Nov 2006 10:19:33 -0700
From: "Sarah Kennedy"
Subject: Just for the record
To: reiddalgleish@yahoo.ca

--- Sarah Kennedy wrote:

> Reid, I wanted to make it very clear that the
> Calgary Sun has not lifted so much as ONE picture
> off any of your sites nor have we quoted anything
> printed on any of the blogs and sites.
> There are two newspapers in this city - ours and the
> Herald so if those sort of things are happening,
> it's not because of our paper. And I don't want to
> be associated with that.
> I am extremely extremely sorry for your loss. These
> last few days have been hell for you and I know when
> you're involved in these situations the media can
> come across as being totally cruel and insensitive.
> I think sometimes though, what we do is not entirely
> understood. Although some friends have refused to
> comment on the situation - others have come forward
> and there are also many investigators (some not as
> close to the case as others) who come to us and give
> information both on and off the record. What results
> is a mass of information and rumours - some founded
> and some not - to go towards explaining a) who Brian
> was and b) what could have happened to him. Most
> media in the city (not all) care about being honest
> and accurate which is why we call close friends and
> family - they are usually the only ones who can
> separate the truth from the bullshit.
> Also in our defence, when this story first broke and
> the police had a VERY good idea that Brian had been
> murdered or met with foul play they withheld that
> from us and told us he was just missing and it may
> have been the result of domestic- related fight. As
> the media - we can do a lot of good in helping to
> locate missing people. We do it all the time. We
> print pictures, information and phone numbers people
> can call if they've seen that person. I'd say about
> 80 per cent of the time what we print and broadcast
> was responsible for the safe return of that person
> because of tips generated. That's why initially we
> always call the family. Only they can provide us
> with the details we need about that person. Is this
> out of character for them? Have they have taken off
> before? Were they in any kind of trouble etc...? I
> understand that the calls continued after that point
> and I can only speak for myself in saying that after
> we were told no initially - I have not made any
> calls back to the family.
> I am writing you this to help you understand the way
> the media works. I hate people assuming we are all
> parasites. We do a good public service. If Brian was
> still just missing and you were desperate for any
> details surrounding his whereabouts - I'm sure you
> and your friends would appreciate the media's
> ongoing assistance. It has brought a lot of people
> comfort in times when they feel desperate and don't
> know where else to go for help.
> Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss.
> Brian sounded like a great guy and it's obvious he
> was well loved.
> Take care
> Sarah