Fire Drill

So, I just got back to my desk from another fire drill. We haven't had a large-scale exercise in a long time. The entire office building was evacuated. I swear it took 30 minutes to clear out the building. I can't believe how slow some of these freaking people move. Who brought out the ugly stick too? Are there ANY good looking people working in my building? They're all fat, middle-aged, oil and railway kooks that don't take care of themselves very well. Why the frick does it take you so long to walk single file through a doorway? I MEAN - COME ON! If you're a slow beluga in my way in a real emergency, you can fully expect me to be stepping on some of your body parts to get down the stairwell from the 20th floor. Stan and Barry joked that we could either braid Ethernet cable to make a long escape rope from 20th or pack people into our standup closets (which we lovingly call 'coffins') with coats and such for insulation, and then drop them through a broken window for a soft landing on the parkade 17 floors below. They don't call them coffins for nothing...

I was tempted to just go home, however, I was in the food court when the alarms went off. As soon as that happens, the elevators stop working and by the time I started climbing up the stairwell, people were already coming down. I didn't have my coat or keys, so I was screwed. I turned around and shuffled with the rest of the cattle outside. I guess it could've been worse, had I had to walk down the stairwell single file from the 20th -- again.